— Devendra Kumar Budakoti
India’s legendary woman boxer Mary Kom continues to make headlines even after her retirement from the sport. This time, however, the attention is not for her achievements in the boxing ring but for the public airing of marital discord with her husband on social media and television. After nearly two decades of marriage—preceded by four years of courtship—and as parents to three children, the couple divorced in 2023. Yet, years after their separation, mutual accusations have resurfaced in the public domain.
In a widely viewed television interview, Mary Kom alleged that her husband was involved in infidelity and financial irregularities, including misuse of her earnings and savings. In response, her husband also made public counter-allegations, accusing her of infidelity and questioning her loyalty. These revelations have triggered intense public debate and media scrutiny.
Why these issues are being aired years after the divorce remains unclear. Nevertheless, the “boxing” in the family ring has captured public attention, with spectators keenly following every verbal punch exchanged on social media. Allegations range from cheating and financial misconduct to drinking habits, moral issues, political ambitions, and family matters—issues that could potentially affect their growing children.
Financial mismanagement, alleged infidelity, substance abuse, and political aspirations of the husband are cited as reasons for discord. However, such matters, critics argue, could have been resolved privately rather than being dragged into the public arena. Particularly damaging is the allegation that the husband lived off his wife’s income and leveraged her fame to build political connections. In Indian society, such accusations carry strong social stigma, as traditional norms still expect men to be primary earners. Historical and contemporary anecdotes—of fathers being mocked for depending on their daughters’ earnings—underscore the depth of this social sensitivity.
Ironically, while a biopic on Mary Kom already exists, these developments seem to provide material for a sequel laden with “filmy masala,” further feeding public gossip. Beyond sensationalism, however, the episode raises deeper sociological concerns about divorce, child well-being, and the strain on family structures, kinship ties, and social networks in Indian society.
Mary Kom’s life story remains inspirational—rising from a humble background, overcoming academic struggles, excelling in sports under challenging conditions, and becoming a national icon. She received numerous awards and honors, including nomination to the Rajya Sabha as a Member of Parliament. Throughout her journey, her husband—initially her friend—stood by her during difficult times. Their separation after two decades of marriage, therefore, leaves a bitter aftertaste.
The Indian social jury is likely to judge Mary Kom harshly. Many may argue that even if separation was inevitable, it should have been handled with dignity, without washing dirty linen in public. In Indian culture, family matters are traditionally kept private. While domestic violence is a punishable offence, many issues of abuse, toxicity, and conflict are often concealed in the name of family honor, children’s futures, and mental well-being.
Although divorce rates are rising in India, divorce is still not socially normalized and continues to carry stigma and discrimination—especially for women. Matters become further magnified when public figures are involved, as they are often expected to serve as role models for stable family life and social responsibility.
The author is a sociologist and has worked in the development sector for over four decades.
