– Devendra K. Budakoti
The recent announcement by the Government of Uttarakhand to establish old age homes in every district prompted me, as a sociologist, to reflect on whether such a move is truly necessary—especially in a society like the hills, where family still often transcends the modern definition of a nuclear unit. In these communities, family includes not just parents and children but an extended kinship network that forms the backbone of Indian social life.
If the state genuinely wants to support the elderly, it could instead encourage civil society organizations to set up old age homes and subsidize their inputs. Most elderly individuals living in such homes today are financially and mentally capable of supporting themselves or availing services from private institutions in urban areas. Setting up government-run old age homes may be warranted only for the truly destitute or those without any family support—not as a blanket solution.
In policymaking, state intervention usually follows sustained demands from civil society. Destitute shelters, homes for the disabled, or safe spaces for abused women are understandable responses to pressing social issues. But old age homes for financially independent and mentally sound elderly individuals seem to undermine the very structure of Indian family life.
The Indian family system is deeply rooted in cultural and emotional values that have provided our society with social stability for centuries. Western scholars have attempted to categorize Indian families into village communities, joint families, extended families, and nuclear families. But even within nuclear families in India, elderly parents and grandparents often remain integral members.
Consider the poignant moment of a daughter’s departure after marriage. Entire families, relatives, and even neighbors are moved to tears. This collective emotional expression is not merely symbolic—it reflects a deep sense of connectedness and enduring bonds. Such traditions demonstrate that, unlike the individualistic ethos of the West, Indian society thrives on relational interdependence.
Our kinship system is complex and inclusive, ensuring that elderly family members are cared for, regardless of the household’s socio-economic condition. When stories emerge of elderly parents being neglected or mistreated, they often make headlines in the local press, triggering immediate action from community members and local administration. Such incidents are rare enough to be considered exceptions rather than norms.
In contrast, Western societies predominantly feature nuclear families, where it is common—even expected—for elderly parents to live in old age homes. It would be unusual for a Western household to include not only elderly parents but also uncles, aunts, and their extended family. Yet in India, it’s not uncommon for a household to include an uncle—even if he has well-settled children—because family responsibility often transcends immediate obligations.
Our social fabric is further enriched by neighborhood relationships that function as extended family. We use kinship terms like Rakhi brother, Rakhi sister, Bhabhi (sister-in-law), and Bhai Sahib (brother-in-law) even for friends and colleagues, signifying respect and familial bonds beyond blood relations. With the prevalence of arranged marriages, these ties are further solidified, maintaining the integrity of our traditional family system. Yes, there are conflicts and disassociations in some families, but the broader kinship network often remains intact.
Industrialization, urbanization, and migration for education and employment have led to a certain degree of nuclearization of families. This shift has certainly contributed to the emergence of old age homes in metropolitan cities. However, even when families are physically separated, emotional and moral bonds often remain strong. Many joint or extended families continue to function, even if not under one roof.
A society that fails to care for its elderly is one that risks moral decline. The erosion of intergenerational bonds signals more than just a change in lifestyle—it marks the beginning of societal fragmentation. We must not let institutional convenience replace emotional responsibility. A family and society which cannot take care of its elderly is doomed to deteriorate and slowly degenerate thus leading a rudderless society.
The author is a sociologist with over 40 years of experience in the development sector.
